


The Beatles Story #2: Expectations Vs Reality

by NowhereFan



Series: The Beatles Story [2]
Category: The Beatles
Genre: At some point Ringo is covered in piss, But anywho..., By the Way John is Gay!, F/M, It's summer!, John left a stray cat at Paul's flat, M/M, Meaning DON'T ASK, Meaning George is flat keeping, Meaning George is no longer the Master of Evil, Paul goes on holiday, Proving Paul's low IQ, Proving he has a heart, Proving he probably fell in a hole, Sorry that wasn't a real tag, Yay it's back, in the book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-12-19 21:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11906376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowhereFan/pseuds/NowhereFan
Summary: When Paul told George to look after his flat he expected it in a state after a party that he'd of thought George would throw.George pretty much expected that too, but the reality was he woke up to find was Paul's part of the flat completely gone. Yep, cut out neatly like a slice of cake. Paul completely oblivious and on holiday suspected nothing.The youngest must work out what happened to his friend's living quarter and John must work out his feelings for Paul, all must be done  before Paul's holiday abroad ends.





	1. In Which Phone Calls Are Made

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if the show that Geo is watching, is a thing but....

"Hey Geo." Paul began grudgingly, as he twirled one of his dark locks with his hands. "I need a favour." George smiled happily, everyone seemed to disappear for a while, and he was finally glad to be in the company of someone else other than his parents. "Nice of you to finally call, I texted you a million times to invite you over."

"Yeah," Paul dragged on distractedly thinking about his week. "I've been busy doin' ... stuff." The youngest's eyes lit up thinking he had an idea of what his friend got up to, but before George could say anything. (Paul just knew what he was going to bring up) He continued the conversation. "Anywho, I need you to flat sit for two weeks. And look after that stray cat John abandoned at my place."

"Ooh what was he doin' at your place?" George inquired wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, Paul could practically hear it from the other end of the phone. "Well I ain't got anything better to do than be fed repeatedly by me mum, and gain no weight. So I'll do it. But why anyways?"

"I'm going on holiday."

"Holiday!?" George shouted flipping out he dropped the phone on his creaky bed and ran out. Paul just sighed, irritation written all over his face. Then George raced back in and put the smartphone against his ear. "What country you in?"

"I'm in my flat." Geo dropped his phone on his bed once again, jogged out of his room, only to realise he forgot his phone. And ran back in panting. "Where d'you live again?" He joked walking out of his room with the phone against his ear.

\---------------------------

**_In Paul's Flat_**

"Why the fuck d'you need to go abroad?" George said as his dark brown eyes scanned the fridge trying to decide on what to annihilate first. "I mean you got me, Ritchie, your boyfriend and Bri too."

"I'm not gay George." Paul said scrolling through his social media, skipping past the many random and inappropriate pictures John had spammed him with. "Yeah yeah. But you don't need to go away." He picked up a frozen pizza and proceeded to put it in the oven. "I planned a holiday for us y'know."

"Where?" Paul asked becoming curious, George slammed the oven door shut and set the temperature. "At Mick's pub." Paul looked at George in disgrace for a moment and looked back at his phone again. He smiled having finally gone past John's ridiculous posts. He put his phone in his pocket, stood up and dragged his two suitcases along with him.

"Right well Geo that's me done. I lost the keys a few days ago s-"

"Don't worry." George smiled. "I've been keeping it safe." He dangled the key in front of a scared Paul. Who then dragged his suitcases off to the exit mentally praying for himself and his flat. "See ya." George sat on the floor, avoiding the mysteriously stained couch and waved innocently at his friend. As soo  as the door shut the innocence left, and was overtaken by a  devilish giggle from George who pulled his phone out of his pocket.

\--------------------

**_Later That Evening_**

George stole every single pillow and cushion that his friend owned and built a cosy little fort in the corner of Paul's living room. This is something he'd seen Paul do when he was in a bitchy mood, or just simply to treat a hangover.

He was wide eyed drinking tea (in summer)  contributing to the well known stereotype that English people drink too much tea. In his lap was his notepad, that now contained information from tbe show he was absorbed in - How to Get Away With Murder.

He knocked over the tea, adding the the many dozen stains, on the floor when his heart jumped as he heard movement. He quickly grabbed the remote and changed the channel in less than a second. (A trick John taught him to prevent himself from getting caught watching porn).

"What crap is this?!" He yelled he when blinked and saw he was watching Disney Channel. "Oh my eyes." As it turns out he didn't even need to change the channel because the source of the noise was John's stray kitten.

"Hey kitty," He said stroking it. "Remember me, Uncle George?" The kitten who was previously laying down, purring at the feeling of being pampered, jumped up and scratched George. "Ow you son of a-" He was interrupted by the horrible sound of Paul's landline. He groaned and stood up ready to lecture whoever was calling. But before he could even begin, he was interrupted again.

"Hey Macca," The voice of John boomed clearly speaking in a rush. Instead of saying that Paul wasn't here, George stayed silent wanting to see where this conversation would go to. "you wait 'til you see what plans I've got for us late tonight." George was treated to a rather girlish giggle that was very unlike John. "Pizza, paintin' the town, and a pretty cool movie. What d'ye say princess?"

The skinny boy tried to take it all in. John and Paul met in late June and hated each other till around Ringo's birthday day. It was now the beginning of August and George couldn't get his head around his quickly they were already best of friends. It's not quite the stage George wished they'd be at but it was close enough.

"Yeah about that," He began stifling his laughter. "I may have accidentally on purpose forgotten to say that it's George." John's small chesnut coloured eyes widened in embarrassment. He knew this would never be lost in the vast and evil world which was George's mind. It would be at the front, never to be forgotten.

"What the fuck man! Where's Paul?"

"He's... erm... on holiday." The younger one replied distracted as he just knew that The Stray Cat was just staring at him. "Oh," John said a little sadly, his ingenious plan having gone to waste. "Where?"

"I dunno, I'm only a flat keeper."

"What if he ends up hurt or something?"

"I dunno, then I'm only a flat onwer."

"Bastard," John leaned back on his bed suddenly feeling bored and a bit lonely. Now he wished he'd gone on holiday, he hadn't been anywhere interesting since he was fourteen, Mimi hated to travel. "But now that I think about it 'e did ask me to do something like that."

"Why didn't you loverboy?" George teased, slowly retreating to the safety of his fort, clutching his clammy hands on the chunky house phone. "Piss off, I made too many plans with my girlfriend Cynthia. Not that you would know anything about that."

 _'Paulie asked John to flatkeep first? Well second_ is better than nothing.'

"Wanna come over? It's starting to be a real drag alone. And I swear that stray kitten you brought over two weeks ago is trying to kill me for reasons unknown."

_'Really? For reasons unknown? That cat has every right seeing as a trained it.' John thought._

"Didn't you hear me crapface. Plans. With. Cyn." He said very slowly as if he was trying to talk to a person who couldn't speak good english. George rolled his eyes. "That's why I asked you assface."

"I'll be over in ten."

\-----------------------

**_Ten Later_**

"Oh yeah, I was meant to see Geo." John shrugged as he sat up to put his shoes that had been dashed carelessly in the corner. "Must have lost track of time staring at the ceiling."


	2. In Which They Recall Brian Getting Stuck In A Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates! I'm trying to write a hell of a lot in advance since school (for me ) starts on the 7th

When the skinny boy heard an impatient series of knocks coming from the door, he groaned and hesitantly got up from the cosy fort. His dark eyes scanned his surroundings just to make sure that the Stray Cat wasn't any where near him, the stinging from the scratches on his arms reminding him to do so. Goosebumps appeared on his bare arms when he was revealed to the cooler air. He swung the door open to reveal his friend busy making out with a random bird. Very clearly becoming more of a player than Paul.

George sighed and used his arms as best as he could to pry his friend from the girl, who looked like she was about to swallow John up. John waved to the girl and made the phone sign with his right hand to tell her that he'll call. But come on, we all know that wasn't gonna happen. She was too delusional to even notice that they hadn't exchanged numbers, let alone names. Yet when George slammed the door behind them John had a goofy smile of accomplishment stuck on his face.The youngest however wanted to get down to business. "Care to explain to be what the start of the phone call was ab-"

"Anyways!" John shouted dramatically. "I invited Stu and What's-His-Face 'round." He climbed in the fort to join the Stray Cat. George was now very alarmed and impressed at the cat. It had been here to weeks and it had claimed the title of Master of Fear, stealing it from George. John was rambling on about something but all Geo was thinking about was how the hell the kitten got into his well protected fort. "Oi Geo!" John clicked his fingers "I was saying I called Brian but he didn't pick up the phone a- wait. Why in God's name do you have condoms all around the fort?"

"Because of that devil kitten." He pointed to it accusingly. To anyone just walking in you'd think Geo is insane because well... it's a kitten innocently licking it's paw. "Oh yeah I get it, provides excellent protection. You're an odd one Georgie, I need to give you some lessons in love." He dragged on the word love and George only shrugged and offered John the badly burnt pizza he left in the oven. When he turned the pizza down, the younger one looked down at it and decided to dump it into the bin.

"Well Lennon it's no wonder he isn't, don't you remember what happened the last time we saw 'm." He said referring to Brian.

\---------------------------

**_Flashback_**

_"Guys." Brian called from 15 feet in the air to his friends who were below passing around a lighter to ignite the tips of their cigarettes. "I can't get down." He tried once again to balance his foot on a branch but quickly snatched it back up the second he heard creaking._

_"Well who told ye to climb the tree?" John said with a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Brian,now carefully lowering himself so he could sit in a more comfortable position, groaned loudly grabbing the other three's attention. "You told me to. Twenty times!" John_

_"Bri! If you give me me your shirt, I can help you down." Paul called trying his best to supress his laughter. "And yer trousers." George added lighting his cigarette._

_Brian didn't say anything but he didn't have to, his confused and scared expression said it all. "But please, please leave your undies on." Ringo begged. Then everyone looked at weirdly. "What?" He said defending himself. "We don't need another flasher." Then everyone turns around to look at John, who smiled and winked back, only to have Brian's shirt and trousers land on his head._

_"What now guys?" He looked down from the tree. "Guys?" And saw the four boys bouncing off in the distance. "Who wants chips!?" John shouted as if his friends were on the other side of the world._

_"ME!" George screamed dancing around wildly. "On Brian." John dipped his hand into Brian's trouser pocket holding up a leather brown wallet. They all cheered and walked to the chips shop, leaving Brian in his underwear fifteen feet up in a tree_.

\----------------------

John's mouth made an 'o' as he recalled what happened, to be fair John did that to everyone, it was like a friend initiation thing. But then again it was so much more fun to target Brian. "Well I'll order the food." George said solemnly, thinking about the poor pizza rotting in the bin. The other one suddenly stood up, scaring the kitten away, and clapped his hands together. "Well Harrison, let's get it started in here."

\-----------------------

**_The Very Next Day_**

"Thanks for letting me stay mum." George said smiling tying his laces together, his mum walked towards him handing him his overnight bag. "I don't know what you're talking about this is your hous-"

"Well don't worry," He grabbed the bag from his mum Louise and put it on his back. "I'll be sure to put in a good review on Yelp." As he left his house to go and look after Paul's (aka destroying appliances, "borrowing" stuff and being terrorised by a kitten) flat, his mum sighed watching him walk down the street. When her unsuspecting husband passed by she whacked him with the napkin she was holding. "Harold! I told you we should of had him tested." She complained sternly.

"Who Georgie? I think he's perfectly normal." She scanned him up and down seeing the many qualities and habits they shared - like eating excessively. She snatched the cookie packet out of his hands before he could take it upstairs and finish it. "Well that figures."

\----------------------------------

George whistled _Words of Love_ as he jogged up the stairs to Paul's flat a habit he'd picked up from Paul relentlessly singing Buddy Holly in the shower. He got to the front door, and pushed the key into the lock, and opened the door. As soon as he stepped inside he fell down into the flat below, onto the lap of a grumpy old man.

"Eeep."

-

"So what the fuck are you trying to tell me?" George brushed his question off and rubbed his arm feeling sore from falling onto the man, luckily he escaped before any more bodily harm could be done. "Just hurry up and do it will ya." John glared at him. "Please?" He begged. The older one groaned yet still did as he was asked. Like George, he too fell onto the flat below but this time landed on someone else. A very pretty girl, this got John's attention.

-

George stood against the wall of the flat building waiting for John again, and was surprised to find he didn't have that goofy smile that was usually plastered on his face whenever he scored. Instead he was rubbing the back of his head and his messy auburn eyebrows were knit together. "The dad eh?" George asked as he handed him a cigarette referring to the person he had landed on.

"Nah the little sister I think." John said his voice cracking a little bit, he obviously had faced a great deal of assault. "She got all her dolls and started to whack me like crazy." George was laughing so much his usually pale face started going crimson red. Then the oldest had an idea. "How about we go find Ritchie?"

-

"I hate you lot."

Every step he took was humiliating, he could feel and hear the squelching sound in his shoes, making him shiver and cringe. Yet the other two walking in front were doubling over and were struggling to control themselves. The second they managed to calm down they looked behind them at a soaked Richard, and couldn't help but come dangerously close to cracking their ribs - due to the laughing. Everyone on the street took one look at the trio, and crossed the road or hid in shops, mainly to get away from the pungent smell that the oldest left lingering in the air. The homeless people were trying to escape from the crazy laughter.

"Where the hell did they get a bucket of piss from?" John said between laughs, George shook his head. "I-I don't... know. They must h-have known we were comin-" He couldn't finsh as he had the uncontrollable urge to laugh some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Paul's flat, well it was ugly anyways. And poor Ringo had a bucket of urine thrown at him, but folks that's what happens when you land in someone else's living quarters. Next chapter however, we take a visit to Paul. (Who's on holiday somewhere in Europe - but I don't know where.) And where's Brian? 
> 
> All will revealed next time on Expectations Vs Reality.


	3. In Which Paul Gets Pissed

Paul sighed with content as he entered his hotel room. The flight was hell, as he ended up sitting next to an evil chicken. (Don't ask). And the crap pilot almost killed him several times, this made him believe his whole holiday would end up rubbish. But seeing his impeccable taste of hotel room, made him have faith again.

The lounge area was very modern. The walls were painted a very stylish pastel grey and despite the darkness of the room plenty of natural light was let in by the huge glass window. He walked straight ahead and looked out of the window to see the whole resort. What caught his eye was the huge blue pool lit up by the moonlight.

He looked back inside the lounge and had an overwhelming urge to sit down and relax on the matching grey sofa. But he wanted to rid of his luggage first.

He dragged one suitcase next to his bed, but couldn't really be bothered to pack, so he dived onto the bed. Enjoying, sinking into his superfluous amount of pillows. Like the lounge the bed room was grey and had a mini couch and a bih window. Paul loved sleeping by the window

Hours later he pried himself off of his bed, his jet lag/trauma having faded, an  
decided to kick of his holiday by staring blankly at the TV. Then he heard slight commotion coming from outside his room, but despite having no clue what the cartoon was sayingsp (since it was in a different language) Paul increased the TV volume. However, the voices got louder and more audible, so instead of fighting it he decided to eavesdrop.

"...no! No! I keep telling you it must be a mistake, I booked-"

"Yes sir," The other, deeper voice interrupted, nevertheless sounding a bit frightened. "I understand that, but due to overbooking-"

"I don't give a damn about that! I'm not sleeping-"

"No one is asking you to engage in sexual activity."

"-with a stranger."

Paul, who's ear was against the door trying to hear as clearly as possible, had an unexpected surprise when the door swung open, it took Paul by surprise and he fell onto the floor. He mentally screamed a string of curses, why did he have to be the unlucky one? Why did he have to be the one who had to have their holiday ruined? Why did he have to share with a stranger? This was worst thing that could happen, unless he was sharing with a girl.

"Paul!?" Brian shouted dropping his hand luggage.

"Have a nice day sir." The hotel manager quickly walked off, intelligently fleeing from the awkward situation while he had the chance. He hurried down the narrow corridor and reached the lift 10 metres later. He thought it could've been worse, at least they knew each other.

"BRIAN!?" Paul screamed, yet was trying to hide his anxiety, the last time he saw Brian was when they left him up a tree. And apparently Brian got community service in the first place (and had to help out at the baking competition) because he had a meltdown and went on an angry rampage. Now he was in a hotel room alone with the guy who has a criminal record.

"Oh piss off." Brian cursed at the manager who was frantically pressing the lift button. The two men or boys (whatever they are) looked at each other, Paul still on the floor and Brian surrounded by his abandoned luggage.

"I came here to get away from you lot and I end up 'ere." They said in unison. Paul glared at Brian, before getting up and helping him move his luggage inside the lounge. "Well it ain't my fault." The oldest of the two mumbled, breaking the few minutes of silence.

"Nor is it mine," Paul whined his hazel eyes sinking solemnly. "I only came 'ere to see hot foreign birds." This caused Brian to smack his palm onto his face. Yep, this will be the longest holiday of his life.

\----------------------------------

**_One Painful Hour Later_**

The two had been arguing for the past hour over the littlest things they'd now moved on from debating the origin of pizza, to sleeping arrangements. "No! I need to sleep at the window side, I'm asthmatic so move yer butt." Brian tried to shove Paul away from the side of the double bed that was illuminated by the stars, shining through the large window.

"Yeah... well," Paul began struggling to come up with a decent argument. "my mum died." He nodded at Brian feeling pretty proud of his argument, "Oh... I'm sor-" Brian cut himself off. "Wait what the hell has that got to do with anything? That was years ago."

Paul scorned himself. And once again had no idea how to reply. "Yeah but..." He picked up Brian's bottle of wine and smashed it on the small black coffee table, causing the red liquid to stain the rug and his pyjamas. "Oi that's a tw-"

"Two thousand and one Curico Valley Merlot produced in Chile," He had the unnecessarily long name imprinted in his brain. "Yes Bri I know you made sure to tell me thirty eight times." Brian gasped in shock and fear, as he saw the flames in Paul's eyes. "Guess what? Now it's a Paul fucking McCartney organ destroying machine."

"Alright then," Brian grabbed a pack of Brussel sprouts and began throwing them at his opponent, knowing it was his kryptonite. He became angry, it was the only booze in their room and he hoped to use it to get him through the night, "Let the games commence!"

\-----------------------

"Christ," Paul dropped his packet of peanuts and clutched his crotch in desperation. "Bri, wait stop the battle." Brian who had his tie wrapped around his head and an assortment of vegatables by his side, looked at Paul in confusion. "I need to piss."

Brian rolled his eyes, he thought it was something serious. "No peeing allowed, FIGHT!" He grabbed a slingshot and aimed at Paul's crotch. Paul groaned and picked up the packet. "That's it, your on Bri."

During the 'battle' they managed to build separate forts they were opposite each other. They rearranged the furniture in the room and used it to build their shelters. Paul's one looked like a piece of crap, topped with even more crap and Brian's was more elaborate. "He who dares enters the castle of thy holy brave Brian, will never see the light of day."

"More like thy Jewish gay Brian." Paul remarked as he dashed several nuts at Brian. Then Brian dashed a whole pack of carrots back. "Shut up, I need to get revenge on you hoes for leaving me up the tree."

Criminal record. Alone. Foreign country. With that information Paul ran into the bathroom to possibly seek asylum.

\----------------------------

**_That Night_**

If you were in the room that night with them, you'd follow in the footsteps of Vincent Van Gogh and cut your ear off. The two of them snored ear deafeningly in unison. "Bri? Eppy. Briiiiii? BYRON." Paul called sleepily as he half heartedly nudged the sleeping form beside him, failing to say his name properly. "Whatd'yawantiwbibejb?"

"Some-someone's at the wooden portal thingy." Brian rolled over to look at Paul through his blurred vision, and the poor lighting. The boy's doe eyes were heavy lidded, drool was coming out of his mouth and he looked high beyond belief. "Yer mean the door?" Paul just made a series of noises, which Brian took as a yes.

"Rock, paper scissors."

"Rock." Paul called more coherently, and the turned to face the window. (Yeah, he won the "who sleeps by the window?" battle)

"Scissors!" Brian called seconds after Paul and still lost. "Aw fuck." He whined when he realised he had lost. Paul just began snoring loudly again. So Brian got up to open the door. He was met with a very tall boy, wearing a green wool hat. That's right, a wool hat in August.

He turned around and then disappeared momentarily, and Brian noticed he was carrying a guitar bag on his shoulders. His eyes widened in horror, but didn't say anything. He only scratched his terribly messy brown hair. "'Ey c'mon in guys, hotel room's looking groovy."

The boy appeared again this time woth three other people! Brian almost had a cardiac arrest right there. "Wow, Mike this is perfect for rehearsals." One said excitably carrying pieces of a drum kit. "Oh lord..." Brian mumbled.

"Ooh guys look!" One with blondish hair patted the tallest so he'd also face the direction he was facing. "We have a manservant!"

"I am not a mans-"

"'Ey Bri what's goin' on? I heard noises an- Jesus fucking christ! Who are these lot?" Paul said rubbing his eyes walking in on the scene of a flustered Brian, four strangers and discarded instruments. "Tsk tsk. Language." A short English one tutted in mock disapproval.

"Mike! We have two manservants-"

"I am not a mans-"

"-and they're both English!" Three of the four strangers crowded around the two tired and confused pair, and gaped at them in awe. The one who brought in the drums, took a photo of Brian and Paul on his phone, the flash almost blinding them.

"Clearly we're not the first English people you've met." Paul pointed of the the short one standing innocently in the corner. He turned to Brian to get his support, but he seemed too busy trying to un-blind himself.

"Yeah but we've seen any English one so... tall." The one in the wool hat said, in an accent Brian struggled to understand. "Oh how rude of us, we're the Monkees." Paul and Brian just blinked at the four of them, who all blinked back. "Ah'm Mike, that's Micky over there, Pete and Davy is the short English one." The four waved politely.

"Yeah, this is I'm Pissed and I am Me Too." Paul said sceptically, he thought that they could have been secret agents or evil murderers. If they were agents they got the wrong place, George was looking after flat - not on holiday with him.

"Hey I'm pissed and me too, those names don't sound very english, where are they from?" Mike said sarcastically, which reminded Paul of John. Paul made a face and frowned. "What are you four doing here?"

"This is our hotel room." Davy said simply as he combed his neat brown hair. "Who gave you that information?" Paul said sourly. The he looked over at Brian who had collapsed on the floor as he snored unpleasantly. "The manager." Davy replied using the mirror on the table to check how his hair looked. Paul's eyes wandered towards the door, he heard running and the rapid pressing of the elevator button.

"I'm gonna kill 'im."

And with that he walked off in his boxers and shirt to have a few short words with that bastard of a manager. 

**Author's Note:**

> So! What did you guys think? It's only start but it's something, right?


End file.
